Found in Stillness

ensemble violin, clarinet, percussion, and electronics
written summer 2023
duration 10 minutes

Written for F Plus

I began this piece in what was perhaps the quietest period of my life in some time. The years prior had been filled with tumult and a sense of encroaching loss, and in that time, I had begun to crave isolation. Rather suddenly, I found it - I spent the start of 2023 tucked away in a wintry cabin in the woods.

This was a different kind of seclusion than the recent, anxious years of quarantine. Where the uncertainty of that time had made me fill my days with chores and activities, this new kind of stillness made every act feel like a radical disturbance. I noticed how much sound I produced in my day to day, whether I was making my bed, taking a walk, or preparing a meal.

The abrupt drop to nothingness also meant that I had a wealth of time to spend with my thoughts, and over time, every act started to take on a meditative patina. I discovered a ritualistic beauty in the tasks I normally found tedious, giving me ample space to reflect on the events that had led me there.

Found in Stillness is a piece born from that reflection. The trio’s parts alternate between textural, fragmentary meditations and exact, piercing arrivals, much as my thoughts went into and out of focus in the cabin. Initially, the trio largely ignores the electronics, treating them as a simple backdrop. Toward the end, the musicians begin to respond more precisely to the environment conjured up by the track, as they progress toward a thoughtful, gentle conclusion.

This piece was begun while in residence at Copland House, Cortlandt Manor, NY, as a recipient of the Copland House Residency Award.